Magic Doorways - INSPIRATIONS - THE HIGHEST RELATIONSHIP

I’ve recently spoken with many people, all from very different cultures, who feel that they can no longer bear the conflict and pressure in their relationships. Such complaints are reflected in our divorce rates, which are unprecedented, and they beg the question, “What is the real purpose of relationships?” Many people are coming to recognize that relationships based on externals such as sex or power or just not wanting to be alone, are like houses built on shifting sand. They won’t hold up when the waves and the storms come. The delirium of romance can be intoxicating, but once the honeymoon stage has passed, unless we deepen our connection to the real essence of Union, we will only flit to other conquests, never experiencing the deep rewards arising from relationships based on Love.
The turmoil of personal relationships is exacerbated by stress arising from the acceleration of time and the proliferation of technology, and is reflected in the violence and wars in the world, and in the destruction of our planet. The Hindu scriptures speak about this age as Kali Yuga – the dark age of man, or the age of quarrel and confusion. At such a time, all of our ego tendencies are amplified, which is problematic on the one hand, but also poses a unique opportunity for our souls to evolve more rapidly than they would otherwise. Just as coal, when subjected to intense heat and pressure, can become a diamond, the human being, subjected to the intensity of Kali Yuga, can become one with the God Self, which is the true Source of relationships.
Our soul work starts with the ones we love, the ones who know our deepest secrets and our worst fears. These close relationships are the primary stepping-stones to learning how to love unconditionally. But bringing love and compassion to one another in these dark times is more easily said than done. So often our insecurities, disappointments, or expectations that the other person is responsible for our happiness, can get in the way. No wonder we want to run from or push away the relationships that most strongly reflect our darkness.
Just as Kali Yuga is an opportunity for the individual soul to evolve, it is also an opportunity for our relationships to evolve as we learn to embrace one another and to have compassion for the human foibles that we all share. Those who have been in long-term relationships know the rage, hatred, and disconnection that can arise as we mirror each other’s deepest pain. How can we bridge such separation? How can we become one with those we love, whether they’re partners, family members, or co-workers? How can we transcend the endless conflicts about finances, domestic routines, and intimacy issues, never mind the cultural, religious and political disagreements that create even more reasons for us to push one another out of our hearts? Communicating our feelings about these things may not necessarily help, if they are not shared in an openhearted way, or if the other is not ready to hear what we have to say.
Perhaps we can take our cue from the great 13th century mystical poet, Jalaluddin Rumi, who said: “Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place.” This applies to our hearts as well as our physical surroundings. It expresses the highest relationship to others and to Life itself. When we can be the soul of the relationship that we are in, when we can remember that this person whom we might be upset with just wants to be seen through the eyes of Love, we can change the lens through which we are looking, and instead of seeing only the daily problems and accompanying flaws in the other, we can see God.
We can often shift out of our dissatisfactions in relationships when we focus on what we are grateful for rather than on what is lacking. When we focus on our complaints, we will reinforce others’ shortcomings, but when we focus on love, gratitude, and forgiveness, then we empower the other. This applies not only to our personal relationships but to our world as well.
Another practice that helps transcend blame and hatred in relationships is to ask ourselves this question: “What part of me is he or she expressing right now?” This is an effective way to own the deficiencies that we so often project onto others. None of us is free from darkness. This contemplation can help us develop compassion and love for the other because it reminds us of our own foibles. When we keep even one person out of our hearts, we keep out everyone, including ourselves.
I recently heard a talk by the scientist, Gregg Braden, author of The Divine Matrix, who spent twelve years deciphering a code embedded in the cells of all life forms. He discovered that the elements of our DNA are linked to letters that form the words, “God eternal within the body.” This astonishing finding means that all living beings, intentionally coded in the same way with the same message, are a part of one another and all of life. If we as a species were truly able to embrace the power of this decoding and what it says about our true nature, we would be eternally at peace. The gurus and masters have known this for centuries and have constantly been reminding us that God exists in every living being. Up until now, we have given this message a religious connotation, which has often created more division than harmony. But perhaps this scientific revelation can cross religious boundaries and inspire us to transcend what separates us, to look beyond the outer form of partners, families, friends, communities, cultures and planet, and see the deep truth that God dwells within every living being.
We can treat our Earth as a part of God and together we can honour the Source of all life and expand this relationship to every realm. Focusing on the Love of God that abides within us helps us see the God in others. We can be the soul, or the love, of every relationship that we engage in. If enough people had the courage to set their ego aside, put others first, and back down from power struggles, we would create a chain reaction that would transform our world. These words of Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, a Buddhist Lama, can serve as our guide: “When you’re happy, I’m happy. That’s the formula. First you, then me. That’s all happiness is.”
Where there is Love there is no ego. When we make our love stronger than our greed, we will be able to protect each other as well as our Earth. When we make our love stronger than our judgements, we will listen to and understand the unique beauty and intelligence in others. When we make our love stronger than our pride, we will see God in everyone, even our enemies. When we make our love stronger than our criticism, we won’t sweat the small stuff. When we make our love stronger than our doubt, we will never feel alone. We will have a constant relationship with the Divine One, who knows our every thought, word and deed, and is closer than our own breath. Every day, we will see the whole world and each person in it as a part of us and we will experience the sheer joy of being in the Highest Relationship of all.

Devrah Laval is the author of The Magic Doorway into the Divine. Please address any comments or questions to: devrahlaval@telus.net or visit www.themagicdoorway.com

Twenty-five years ago, Devrah Laval had a profound, enlightenment experience, and miraculous healing that changed the course of her life forever. Devrah was a busy fashion model; but courageously postponed her career when she was compelled to travel to India and train with many of the most revered teachers and spiritual masters as well as studies in New York. After extensive study, the true mystic inside Devrah was revealed. Today, Devrah is a gifted and vital teacher, who truly treads the mystic path. Her wisdom comes from direct experience.  An innate understanding revealed to her the fact that God exists everywhere and in everything. The precious gifts of purification and a profound ability to integrate higher truths have culminated into a deep wisdom that Devrah uses to illuminate the way for all of us. The Magic Doorway into the Divine is an expression of Devrah’s life long study and the realization of our essence as soul.

Other articles by this author that you may wish to read:

The Magic Doorway ~ The Awakening - http://www.thehealingjournal.com/node/1176
INSPIRATIONS – Magic Doorways - MYSTIC LOVE - http://www.thehealingjournal.com/node/1106
Magic Doorways ~ DESIRE - http://www.thehealingjournal.com/node/1084
PROJECTION - a powerful tool - http://www.thehealingjournal.com/node/1055
INSPIRATIONS - POINT ONE OF SEPARATION - http://www.thehealingjournal.com/node/965
Inspirations - TRUE SELF-WORTH - http://www.thehealingjournal.com/node/926
Magic Doorways ~ Inspirations - You Are What You Watch - http://www.thehealingjournal.com/node/896